#can't believe van can't cook

[ocegion]

The (unintentionally) funniest things in the very serious vampire novel Dracula by Bram Stoker, in my most humble personal opinion

Count Dracula, whose only topic of interest is his own glory as a warlord of times past, dressing up as a servant and cooking, setting the table and folding sheets among other housework to fool Jonathan, probably while muttering to himself 'it's okay Vlad you're still cool you're still cool' over and over again

Dracula throwing a fit at Lucy's window while in bat form like 'You shut out Dracula? You shut him out like the mosquito? Oh, vampirism for you! Vampirism for you for all eternity!'

Dracula, once again at a window while in bat form trying to listen to Van Helsing planning his demise, and being fucking shot at by Quincey Morris and having to flee like 'wait what the FUCK was that???'

On the topic of how trigger-happy Morris is; Van Helsing going on about all the traditional lore on how to figh vampires and Morris saying 'how about we just fucking shoot him' 'yes we'll take that into account too, extra credit'

'oh lmao it's that bitch Harker, can't believe he made it out of my cas- shit he's got a knife' *immediately jumps out the window and flees the country*

Mina, fully and acutely aware of evertything relating to Lucy's death, otherwise the most sensible character in the novel: Last night I dreamed about the creature from hell that lives literally next door and I woke up this morning feeling absolutely awful. I'm sure it's nothing worth mentioning tho

Dracula's demise being larlegy in part due to the fact that he spends most of his time dealing with English bureaucracy and leaving his mail lying around. like the lord of darkness himself sitting in an office to buy a ship ticket, being cryptic and edgy while the worker is just like 'yeah whatever here you go, next' is something that actually happens in the novel

[hamilando]

ੈ✩ Sainz Jr’s Jr? (smau) ੈ✩

pairing : carlos saint x fem reader

summary : the latest addition to the sainz family !

tw : fluff

fc: Erva Arslan *she is so pretty-*

a/n : thank you so much to @animeandf1lover for suggesting this ! Also, in now way have I tried to offend any religion, I do not have much knowledge and tried my best to include a Muslim reader according to the request ! The photos are all from Erva’s Instagram.

·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ✩ ･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ✩ ･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ✩ ･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ

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y/nsainz Ferrari wife attendance for Silverstone !! @ carlosainz55

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user1 she is so pretty!!

user2 I NEED HER CLOSET !!

user3 I love how simple yet elegant her outfits look 😞

charlesleclerc pls tell me you will make the baklava for us !

y/nsainz only if we get a podium !!

user4 she is carlos's wife ? ( new fan here 🫷🏻)

user5 yup, married for almost a year now, they met in Abu Dhabi Gp !

alexandramieux Waiting for the baklava !!!

y/nsainz anyday for you love !!

user6 I need her cooking skills 🤜🏻

user7 carlos homie got lucky fr

carlosainz55 I can't concentrate on the race when I have a wife looking this good ❤️

y/nsainz you better or the couch looks like an amazing option

landonorris my lovely sister in law 🫶🏻

y/nsainz you should visit us in Spain, I will make you the best food 🫶🏻 landonorris booking my tickets 🤜🏻

liked by landonorris, carlosainz55, charlesleclerc and 178,937 others

y/nsainz a year of red and hues ❤️

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user1 if only couple goals had a face 🫷🏻

charlesleclerc can’t believe it’s been a year since you joined Ferrari Family !!

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user2 and in a year they will leave the Ferrari family too 😭

user3 don’t remind me 😭🥹

landonorris Y/N, please find me a wife too, even I want a post like this ☺️

y/nsainz Lando, you are too young! landonorris I AM THE SAME AGE AS YOU WHEN YOU GOT MARRIED TO THAT IDIOT ! y/nsainz point.

user4 lando’s inner thoughts be speaking-

user5 did y/n indirectly call Carlos an idiot ? 💀

user6 he is one though 🤷🏻‍♂️

carlosainz55 and to many more ❤️

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maxverstappen1 Congratulations 🙌🏻

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francisca.gnomes can’t believe it’s been a year since the most beautiful wedding 🥹

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liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, charlesleclerc, and 1,837,389 others

y/nsainz Elyas Carlos Sainz 🌟

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y/nsainz Baby daddy duties 💪🏻

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lewishamilton good to see he is taking care of you 💛

y/nsainz ofc, we wouldn't want to turn the threaten to reality, also thank you so much letting roscoe spend time with me lewishamilton roscoe is just a call away !

landonorris BEST UNCLE ATTENDANCE 🙌🏻

charlesleclerc oh hell nah y/nsainz now before this blows up, you both are amazing uncles !!

landonorris just bought him clothes

charlesleclerc just bought him a van-cleef landonorris just bought him a mini racing car charlesleclerc just bought him a Ferrari carlossainz55 mate, let my son grow some legs before he steps on any of those two cars 😊

y/nsainz the audacity of you two to not buy anything for the mother! Max, you are the best ❤️

maxverstappen1 it was all Kelly’s idea 🙌🏻 kellypiquet you deserve it Y/N! landonorris oh god. Max back off

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y/nsainz video calls ft. Uncle Charles

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scuderiaferrari The uncle and dad raising the future world champion !

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user1 the same champion whose father you kicked out 👀

user2 is it possible to be jealous of a 3 month old ?

user3 no. Having Carlos Saina as your father, Y/N Sainz as your mother and the whole f1 grid as your family, is certainly soemthing to be jealous of 🤷🏻‍♂️

charlesleclerc Elyas first word would definitely be Uncle !

y/nsainz get in line, Charles Leclerc.

user4 oh gawd, the full name and FULL STOP !

carlossainz55 my life ❤️

liked by y/nsainz

[unabashegirl]

Different 3 | College HS

Harry's quiet, routine-driven life changes one weekend when he meets Y/N through a mutual friend at her party. She comes from a superficial, materialistic world with absent parents who believe money solves everything. Despite their differences, something clicks that night, and Y/N can't stop thinking about him.

Author’s note: hello everyone, I am so happy you are all enjoying the last few written pieces that I’ve published.

check out my patreon (starting at $2) and get full access to all 25 chapters, various one shots and much more :)

masterlist

What are you doing right now?

He played with the corners of his phone’s cover as he looked down at the message that he had just received from her. They had been talking since the day after her soccer match. Harry unconsciously bit his bottom lip, thinking of a response that wouldn’t sound too nerdy or boring. He had been studying for a test. He was about to sit down and play some video games with his roommate. There was no chance he would admit that he was studying on a Friday evening.

Nothing much🫠

He wrote and deleted the words a few times; hating the way he sound and how uncertain he felt when he was around her. He finally stopped making any sort of assumption and pressed send. He placed his phone beside him before turning on the console. Right before he could grab the control, his phone beeped. Harry closed his eyes for a second and decided to leave it for a few minutes, so he would come across as desperate. That was until he realized he couldn’t concentrate on the game and gave in.

I am hungry

Do you want to come with me to pick up some food?

He smiled like a fool. He hadn’t seen her since that Monday. He wanted to ask her to spend some time together, but he had been too scared of being rejected. He wanted to be with her, but he thought he needed to be realistic. She was way out of his league. Y/N was too special to be with someone so ordinary as him. Although the thought of Y/N becoming his girlfriend made his skin get goosebumps and his heart rate rise.

Right now?

Yes. I’ll pick you up

Ok

Harry quickly freshened up and threw on a long sleeve shirt, some sweatpants, vans, and a beanie since it was starting to get colder. It was a Friday, and he still couldn’t understand how Y/N was free and more importantly willing to hang out with him.

On my way 🚗

“Where are you going?” Ganesh, Harry’s roommate asked, watching him freak out. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes. I’m just going out with a friend” He responded, just as he found the keys to the room.

I am here!😊

“Who is she?” He had never seen Harry so agitated and so different. He was always so collected and calm, nothing ever bothered him.

“No one you know” He lied and shut the room door.

“Hi!” Y/N smiled, turning down the radio as he got into the car. She wore sweatpants and a green t-shirt.

“Sorry for the wait. I couldn’t find my keys” He apologized just as she started the drive.

“What do you want to have?” She asked as she drove down the busy streets. “I could honestly eat anything. I am starving”.

“Anything would be lovely” Y/N nodded as she thought of where they could go and genuinely enjoy it. Somewhere, where they could sit and enjoy and nice conversation and a meal.

“I haven’t eaten anything today” The fridge at the apartment was packed with all sorts of food. Unfortunately, Y/N didn’t like to cook, not because of the act itself, but because of all the cleaning that had to take place afterward. She had made herself some coffee and a sandwich in the morning, but she hadn’t had dinner or lunch.

“When was the last time you ate? Harry asked trying to make conversation.

“This morning after class” She shrugged, “I don’t enjoy cooking. Do you?”

“I do” he admitted with a bit of embarrassment. “I find it quite enjoyable”

“Maybe I should invite you over, so you can cook for me” Y/N joked, but not really. She found it very romantic when a man cooked for a woman.

“How is your knee?”

“It’s just bruised and still sore, but no biggie”  Y/N decided to get some food at a nearby Panera. She was really craving some soup and a sandwich. Plus she found the place very cozy and nice. “Is here alright?” She asked as she parallel parked.

“Perfect” He couldn’t care less where they ate. He just wanted to spend some time with her.

“Would you like to eat here? Or we could pick up and go to mine? It’s just a few blocks away” Y/N offered in case he didn’t want to dine in.

“H- Here is fine” He instantly felt nervous about being at her apartment. Therefore, he preferred to stay at Panera. Somewhere where he knew that he would be able to form complete sentences.

They both got out of the car and Harry stood beside her. He got a whiff of her scent. She smelt like flowers specifically like lavender. He felt like a creep, but the scent was intoxicating. Y/N threw on a white hoodie and then locked the car.

They each ordered a cup of soup with half of a sandwich. Y/N ordered lemonade whilst Harry ordered iced tea. Y/N then took it upon herself to find them a comfortable booth where they could sit and converse. She chose one that was by the window and on a corner. It was nice a private.

“How was the rest of your week? Y/N asked as they finally sat down with their food.

“A bit hectic. I’ve got this test on Monday that has been keeping me up” He shared, dipping his spoon into his chicken tortilla soup.

“I know the feeling,” She said, “You’ve never told me the story behind your accent” Harry smiled and wiped the corners of his mouth.

“My mother and father moved here months after giving birth to me. My father is American, and my mother is very English and so am I. Although I’ve been more exposed to America’s culture, the accent is thanks to my mother. My parents moved back to England when I started college. It was that or getting the divorce” It was all very foreign to Harry. He rarely shared so much of his private life with anyone. He would even go to the extremes of leaving the room when his mother would call just so he could have privacy from Ganesh. Although, it all felt very different with her. He felt like he could tell her his darkest secrets and Y/N wouldn’t judge.

“But they are still together” She loved his accent. It singled him out of the bunch.  She found it very attractive how he could drag the last syllables of the words and how raspy his voice sounded.

“Yes.”.

“Oh! That’s nice”.

“What are you talking about? Your parents are still together too!” He pointed out, opening the bag of chips that came with the meal.

“Sure, but my parents are never home” Y/N shrugged, “Are you close to your mom?”

“Very much”

“I’m not. They spend a lot of time away, but I sort of get it. My father says it’s the sacrifice we pay to keep the type of lifestyle that we desire” Harry could tell that she didn’t believe her father’s words. He couldn’t blame her — neither did he.  He could tell that she had a very lonely life as opposed to what everyone thought.

“Would you like my pickle?” He asked as he pushed it away from the rest of his food. Y/N instantly burst into a giggle. It took Harry a few seconds to understand why she was laughing, but he caught on and joined in the laughter. “What is it with you Americans and your obsession with adding pickles to everything!”

“They are tasty!” Y/N stabbed his pickle with her fork and took it away from him.

“You eat weird things like,” he thought for a second, “Rice Krispies!” He exclaimed. “Whose idea was that?!”

“Take that back!” Y/N didn’t want to admit it, but her pantry consisted of them. Whenever she was in a hurry, she would throw two or three in her purse and call it day. Her obsession came from her mother not allowing her to have them when growing up. “They are so tasty!”.

“Absolutely not. Horrid”.

“Well, unfortunately, this has come to an end” Harry laughed at her exaggeration and finished eating his panini. “So, did you miss me?”

“Horribly” Thankfully he had swallowed all the food in his mouth when she had asked it. His cheeks had turned a tone or two darker and for a second he had thought he was going to be sick. Although, he was quite surprised and proud of himself for his honest answer and without any stuttering.

Y/N felt like her heart was about to burst out of her chest and that butterflies in her tummy. It had been a long time since she had ever felt this way toward anyone. She moves closer to him, to the point where their shoulders are touching. Y/N turned to look at him and was met with his big eyes that she had grown to adore.

“Do you like me?” She asked as she leaned close to him.

“I- I do” his stutter was back, but he didn’t care. He could smell her intoxicating scent again, and it was enough to drive him crazy. Her hand reaches up and to the back of his neck, where she tangled her fingers.

Their noses touched, and their foreheads met.

“Good because I like you too” Y/N whispered then pressed their lips against one other.

Harry closed his eyes as soon as their lips touched for the first time. She kept a hand on his chest for leverage whilst the other remained tangled in his hair. Her lips were just as plump and soft as he had imagined. His entire body froze for the seconds they share the kiss. He opened his eyes as he felt her pull apart, but before he could open them fully, she kissed him again. This time it was more long and affectionate. It was as if there was no concept of time. As if they were the only ones in this world sharing a kiss. They both felt invisible and nothing else mattered.

chapter 4

[mcflymemes]

THE SUITE LIFE OF ZACK AND CODY PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the tv show (season 1), adjust as necessary

i can shove 12 gummy worms up my nose. you wanna see?

i was blunt... i was direct... and if i do say so myself, i was pretty darn mean.

is that a threat or a promise?

i learned something from you and you learned something from me.

i can't believe i might have to wear plaid.

teach me to be smart!

i mean, this is probably the most boring hotel in the history of boring hotels.

none of them even noticed me.

do you need some help with your bags?

i'm not that strange... except when i get really nervous i can't stop talking which is odd because i'm aware of it and you'd think i'd know better but for some strange reason...

what kind of superficial airhead thinks that's cool?

are you wearing lipstick?

i protest against them.

i got dragged off by a cop!

i guess i should say goodbye. or... you could invite me to your suite?

do you know how much they cost?

it's so much nicer than the mini-van we used to live in.

is there a hall of fame for this kind of stuff?

that's what trees look like before you cut them down.

what's that on your face?

thanks for the red sox tickets!

you tend to be un-smooth.

some of this candy is older than you.

somebody ordered the "i'm sorry for what i did last night" buffet.

get us into the wedding.

we may live in a palace, but we are not royalty.

what did you set on fire?

have you seen what you're wearing?

will you guys stop fighting?

we are not fighting. we are having a creative discussion.

stop agreeing. you're annoying me now.

i'll have you know, i flunked that math test purposely just to get away from you.

are you familiar with the gear shift?

you're making me nervous with all this technical talk.

why don't we just relax, turn on the radio? would you like AM or FM?

let's find out how rich i am!

you're gonna learn to drive?

have you heard the good news?

i love the rush of the road, the wind in my hair.

they shouldn't be too hard to find. we'll just look for the car that's going in reverse.

i suppose i have a slight tendency to be a bit critical.

have you seen my kids?

which goes first, the milk or the cereal?

it's a special night. don't make me slap you.

did you just flick flour into my face?

come back here and take this banana creme pie like a man!

how would you feel if people were spreading rumors about you?

we don't have a dungeon.

i recommend you go away!

this is not a joking matter.

there's no such thing as ghosts.

just 'cause i don't need it doesn't mean it's not mine.

don't take this the wrong way.

i made it with my own two hands.

i've hit rock bottom. and i don't like rock bottom. it's so... rock bottomy.

i have about twenty different ones. which one do you want?

i actually cooked for three hours.

do you ever find yourself feeling discouraged, unfulfilled, unappreciated?

try this hot dog!

[shaykappa]

Favourite/Funniest Line's from Crooked Kingdom

"Let's go." "Me?" "No the idiot behind you."

"How is-" "Nina is fine. Jesper is fine. Everyone is fine except for me because I am stuck with a gang of hand-wringing nursemaids."

"Now why can't people be this easily trained?" Kaz murmured as he crouched to oblige the dog with a belly rub.

"Did you know I am next in line for the Fjerdan throne? They call me Princess Ilse of Engelsberg." "There is no princess of Engelsberg. It's a fishing town."

"Has anyone noticed this whole city is looking for us, mad at us, or wants to kill us?" "So?" "Well, usually it's just half the city."

"Big, blond and blind. The Fjerdan way."

"If I live I'll buy you waffles." "You don't have enough money to buy her waffles."

"Do you know what Van Eck's problem is?" "No honor?" "Rotten parenting skills?" "Receding hairline?"

"Isn't that how things are done around here? We all tell Kaz we are fine and the do something stupid?" "Are we that predictable?" "Yes."

"It seems everyone is forming alliances." "They're called friendships Kaz."

"You are very welcome Nina Zenik. You may repay me in the costumary way." "Waffles?" "Lots of them."

"I need to do this. I've never been to my mother's grave. I am not leaving Kerch without saying goodbye." "Trust me, you care more than she does."

"You are stupid about a lot of things Wylan, but you are not stupid. And if I ever hear you call yourself a moron again, I am going to tell Matthias you tried to kiss Nina. With tongue." "He' ll never believe it." "Then I 'll tell Nina you tried to kiss Matthias. With tongue."

"Come on, let's do steal all my dad's money. "Isn't it your money?" "Okay, let's go steal it back."

"I think you 'd flirt with a date palm if it would pay you any attention." "If I flirted with a plant, you can bet it would stand up and take notice."

"Yes, yes, Nina Zenik is hungry. Now, will someone feed me before I am forced to cook one of you?" "Don't be ridiculous. You don't know how to cook."

"On a dare I ate a literal through full of waffles and nearly went back for seconds."

"Pick up the pace." "If I spill a single drop of this it will burn straight through the floor onto my father's dinner guests." "Take your time."

"I am Dunyasha, the White Blade, trained by the Sages of Ahmrat Jen, the greatest assassin of this age." "Doesn't ring a bell."

"Fate brought me here." "And does fate pay your wages?"

"My parents thought I would drown because I crawled into the sea as a baby, laughing." "Perhaps they were worried you would talk yourself to death."

"Kaz. You may not be glad we are alive, but we are glad you are alive."

"You are better than waffles, Matthias Helvar." "Let's not say things we don't mean, my love."

"Are you mad?" "I'd probably be happier if I was."

"You have to be the craziest bastard I ever met." "I'll take that as a compliment."

"My leg! My leg!" "I recommend a cane."

"What is wrong with him?" "Same thing that's always wrong with him. He's Kaz Brekker."

Jesper followed Wylan down the hall. "Hey." Wylan kept going.

"Jes, I 've thought about this-" "Thought of me? Late at night? What was I wearing?"

Wylan ran his tongue over his lips and spat in his father's face.

He was pale, with tufty orange brows and a hunched posture that gave him the look of a giant shrimp.

He felt bad for the guy. Not bad enough to wake him up and untie him, but still.

"I 've been shot!" He had not been shot.

"How about I push you in the canal and we see if you know how to swim?"

"Tell you what. When the day comes, mark it on your calendars. I can think of a lot of people who 'll want to throw a party.

"Wait. Is my tie straight?"

[leviscolwill]

moonlight, sunrise

pairing: trent alexander arnold x fem!reader

summary: after trent's first time captaining his boyhood club, you can't help showing him your appreciation [wc: ~700]

contents: tooth rotting fluff, established relationship, captain trent ‼️, food mention, not proofread yet 🏃‍♀️

note: needed to write a little something for my boy <3

now playing: moonlight sunrise by twice (ready to be)

you were absolutely stoked when darwin scored a late goal for your team, winning newcastle 2-1. during all the game, your thoughts went to your boyfriend, who captained his team after van dijk got red carded. you knew how much his boyhood club meant to him and how much he adored it, so being vice captain was a huge honour. after the final whistle, you grabbed your phone to send him a quick text; "congrats on today's win my captain !! can't wait to celebrate with you tonight xx". you knew he wouldn't answer right away so you got up to prepare trent's surprise.

you put on your favourite playlist, and searched for everything you needed to make some pizzas, from the dough to the toppings, you had everything you needed. trent loved your pizzas, you weren't the best cook around but it was the one dish you could never miss.

you tried shaping the dough into little hearts, colouring them with bright red tomato sauce. your addiction to 'good pizza great pizza' helped you create the best pizza with trent's favourite toppings.

while you were finishing the last couple mini pizzas, you felt someone hug you from behind.

"they look so good, you really outdone yourself with these." you heard trent's voice in your ears.

"no ! they were supposed to be a surprise... please pretend you never saw this." you say in a disappointed tone, you must have been too distracted by your music to hear trent coming home.

"alright, alright. can i help you with the last one at least ?"

"of course not, you can't help making your own gift." you refused, but trent wouldn't take no for an answer. he placed the toppings to form a smiley face on the heart pizza. you snapped a quick picture of your masterpiece before putting it in the oven.

your boyfriend set up the table while you lit up some scented candles. these kinds of evenings were your favourites. the evenings when your boyfriend's was just yours, not the media's or the fans'. just trent, just yours.

trent was taken aback when you hugged his back, resting your head on his shoulder.

"you know i'm proud of you, right ? you did great today mister liverpool captain."

"i think you might have mentioned that a couple of times. thank you for believing in me pretty girl." he pressed a kiss on your lips before getting the pizzas out of the oven.

you ate your pizzas in front of a movie trent picked, of course, under the covers you brought to your living room, intently listing to each other's comments as silly as they might have been.

quickly enough, you fell asleep and felt trent's arms carrying you to your shared bedroom.

"where are we going ?" you asked him in a sleepy voice, even though you already knew the answer.

"to bed ratatouille."

"don't compare me to a rat." you huffed in disapproval of his newfound nickname for you.

"you're the rat that makes the best pizzas in the whole world."

you both cuddled up under your covers, and you felt tiredness get the best of you, trent must have felt it as well.

"goodnight, i love you." he said pressing a kiss on your cheek, after turning off the lights.

"i love you too, sleep well my captain."

trent's light strokes on your arm and his slow breathing lulled you to sleep swiftly. these were really your favourite nights, in the company of your favourite boy.

[augustjustice]

Sharing Smokes Outside the Snow Ball

AO3 Link

It's the Winter of 1999, and Steve Harrington and Eddie Munson are standing outside the Hawkins Middle School Snow Ball, sharing a smoke.

Eddie can't believe he's back here, the whole thing feeling nearly as surreal as that nightmare, wayward Spring Break over ten years ago. He'd barely made it out of that hell hole alive, Steve himself practically having to hold Eddie together as they made their way from Forest Hill to Hawkins Memorial Hospital.

Spring had turned into summer, sweltering and oppressive as Eddie slowly, painfully healed.

There had been bright spots, though. Watching Lucas and Erica squabble during the one-shot campaign he had cooked up just for the party that June. Evenings out beside the Harrington's temperature controlled pool, beer bottle sweating in his hand as he traded a joint back and forth between Argyle and Jonathan, the sound of Robin's cackle loud and bright as she managed to hipcheck Steve into the pool. Steve's own blinding smile--a longtime feature of Eddie's secret high school fantasies--being turned on him the first time he made it from the front doors of the physical therapy clinic to the passenger side of his BMW, without needing any help at all.

But then summer had ended, and Eddie, finally back together again like a character out of a children's nursery rhyme, had packed up his van and headed straight to Chicago, not looking back.

Sure, there'd been post cards sent, phone calls to Dustin and the other Hellfire brats, promises to see everyone soon. Promises that Eddie couldn't keep, even if he wanted to.

Not when he didn't dare set foot in Hawkins, not ever again.

Then, over a decade into his second life as a struggling guitarist by night, record shop employee by day, his cousin Brooke had landed on his doorstep, looking too tired and too young all at once, a bruise around her eye. Behind her, her eleven year old son was studying the apartment hall's tiling.

"I left him." Eddie didn't need an explanation for that one. Her good-for-nothing husband, Nash. "Jake won't be any trouble, he just...needs a place to stay, while I get back on my feet. Somewhere his daddy can't find him. Just for a little while."

Eddie thought of his Mama. And then he called Wayne.

"Shit, Uncle Wayne, I--don't know what to do."

"Come on home now, boy," Wayne said, easy as anything, like Eddie had left only yesterday. "Come on back home."

So Eddie had.

That had been six months ago. And now he was standing in the aforementioned middle school parking lot with Steve 'the Hair' Harrington, while their kids--and wasn't that just a fucking head trip and a half--danced the night away.

"I keep half expecting Click to round the corner screaming my name," Eddie admits as he gives Steve a light. "Remember junior year, I sold to you in the alley behind the gym? Old bat nearly got me that time."

"Remember? I literally had to shove that joint down the front of my shorts, dude," Steve admits, which draws a snort out of Eddie to match his own chuckle. "Most of the guys on the basketball team couldn't move half as fast as you did that day. You practically vanished into the woods before she even made it to the stadium. Totally shoulda gone out for the track team, Eds."

Eddie clutches his chest, as though he's been shot. "Don't speak such blasphemy to me, Harrington."

"Yeah, well, you can quit worrying. Pretty sure she finally retired," Steve tells him, taking a long drag before he's passing the cigarette back to Eddie, even that brief touch enough to send sparks of electricity up Eddie's arm. Then he shoots Eddie that charming, infamous Harrington smile, boyish and cocky, the one that says he's used to getting exactly what he wants. "Even if she's not, I'm head of the PTA. If Higgins tries anything, I'll just threaten not to bring cupcakes to the next bake sale."

"Harrington, my hero," Eddie fakes a swoon, collapsing for a brief second against Steve's shoulder, an excuse to get close.

The theatrics get no rise out of Steve beyond an amused smirk. Even after all these years, he's still used to Eddie's antics, it seems.

"You know, it was total déjà vu," he nods to the middle school gymnasium, all decked out in blue and white, "dropping Sam off here."

Though he's actually gotten to know the Harrington offspring in person since he's been back, Eddie had received the rundown from Dustin and the others on Steve's journey to dadhood in their scattered calls over the years.

The December after Eddie had left, Steve had met a girl, taken her out on a few dates, and accidentally gotten her pregnant.

With Samantha, a name Dustin had proudly persuaded Steve into as the little girl's godfather. Every bit as adorable, now that Eddie had seen her, as the gushing picture the party had painted for him, all big blue eyes and wavy chestnut hair just like her father's.

Steve had gotten down on one knee long before she was born, determined to tie the knot and do right by her mother nearly as soon as he'd heard the news.

The pair had been divorced not even two years later.

"I don't think they were ever really in love," Dustin had informed Eddie one sunny afternoon impromptu of nothing, as always blunt in his honesty. "But you know what Steve is like. He's a hopeless romantic."

Eddie didn't, not exactly. But he's gotten enough glimpses, both back in '86 and much more recently, that he's starting to put the picture together.

Steve draws Eddie out of that particular reverie with another bright laugh. And then he's recounting the memory of Dustin's hair, done up in the infamous Harrington 'do, as Steve pulled up in front of the '84 Snow Ball playing chaperone in his trusty Beemer, long since traded in for the much more affordable sedan he's driving now.

"I demand photographic evidence, Harrington," Eddie insists, smile crooked, that distracting dimple appearing in his right cheek, "you can't conjure up an image like that and then not fork over the goods."

"Hey, man, talk to Dustin. Mrs. Henderson took like...a million pictures that night," Steve laughs.

But he's already mentally going through the album tucked away on a bookcase back at home, positive he's got his own photo to show for it. It'll make for a nice excuse to invite Eddie over for dinner one night.

The subject turns then to their own checkered experiences with school dances.

"Class of '85, baby! That's when they made your 'King Steve' title official," Eddie crows, teasing as he taps Steve once on the nose.

Steve goes a bit cross-eyed, following the movement of his finger.

"Yeah, well, talk about a total let-down of a night. I didn't even bring a date," Steve admits, tone blasé. The truth is, his entire senior year had been something of a disappointed trudge towards graduation, a walk he had taken mostly alone. There had been bright spots--the little band of miscreants he'd fallen into babysitting, for one--but they had all been far outside the walls of Hawkins High. "I'm guessing you weren't around for that? Not really your scene, especially with the Munson Doctrine's strict rules about 'forced conforming.'"

He puts Eddie's words in deliberate air quotes, his turn to give him a teasing smile.

"You're wrong about that one, big boy. I saw them, adorning your glorious locks with the crown." That mischievous smile is back. "We're not that old, dude, don't tell me you already forgot the whole 'prom streaking' incident?"

Eddie shoots him a loaded, deliberate look.

"Wait a minute, wait a minute." Shaking his head with a laugh, Steve waves his arms in front of him, like he's calling a time out. "You've gotta be fucking kidding me. That was you?"

"The one and only. What can I say, Jeff and Gareth dared me. Besides, by that point," Eddie shrugs casually, "I already knew I didn't have a shot at graduating anyway, so. Thought I'd close out the year with a bang."

"You've seriously never considered doing anything halfway in your life, have you, Munson?" Steve asks, giving Eddie's shoulder an almost exasperated nudge, smile fond in spite of himself.

"Absolutely not, Stevie boy. Life's too short. Where's the fun in playing it safe?"

Eddie swings into Steve's space, then, dark eyes sparkling. Goading and flirtatious. Just like when they were teenagers, thrown together in the worst of circumstances but making the best of it, before time and pain and trauma put all that distance between them.

And if Steve's eyes drop down to Eddie's lips as they share air, slow enough it can't be anything but deliberate, and their fingers brush just a tad too intimately the next time they trade the cigarette back and forth...well. They've got a lot of lost time--and shared smokes in school parking lots--to make up for.

[90s-music-tourney]

Here are all 72 songs we are entering in the tournament

Eleanor Rigby by the Beatles

Somebody to Love by Jefferson Airplane

Nights in White Satin by the Moody Blues

Sweet Caroline By Neil Diamond

All along the Watchtower by Jimi Hendrix

Pinball Wizard by The Who

House of the Rising Sun by the Animals

California Dreamin’ by The Mama's and the Papa's

People are strange by the Doors

Paint it Black by The Rolling Stones

Mrs. Robinson By Simon and Garfunkel

Fortunate Son by Creedence Clearwater Revival

Good vibrations by the Beach Boys

What a wonderful World by Louis Armstrong

21st Century Schizoid Man By King Crimson

Space Oddity by David Bowie

You really got me by the Kinks

Spirit in the Sky By Norman Greenbaum

Respect by Aretha Franklin

Feeling Good by Nina Simone

I'm a Believer by The Monkees

White Room by Cream

Piece of my Heart By Big Brother and the Holding Company

Season of the Witch by Donovan

Like a rolling stone by Bob Dylan

Be my Baby by the Ronettes

Son of a Preacher man by Dusty Springfield

She's not there by the Zombies

Complication by the Monks

Heroin by the Velvet Underground

Ain't Too Proud for Beggin by the Temptations

I want you back by The Jackson 5

Alice's Restaurant Massacree by Arlo Guthrie

Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison

Eight Miles High by the Byrds

Come A little bit Closer by Jay and the Americans

So Long Mom (A song for World War III) by Tom Lehrer

Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash

Suite: Judy Blue Eyes by Cosby, Stills and Nash

Change is gonna come by Sam Cooke

You Can't Hurry Love by the Supremes

Happy Together by the Turtles

Tainted Love by Gloria Jones

Dream a Little Dream of Me by Mama Cass

Maybe This Time by Liza Minnelli

Don't Rain on My Parade by Barbra Streisand

Puff the Magic Dragon by Peter, Paul and Mary

Good Times, Bad Times by Led Zeppelin

Ain't no mountain high enough by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell

This boots are made for walking by Nancy Sinatra

Sitting by the dock of the bay by Otis Redmond

Cactus tree by Joni Mitchell

Crimson and Clover by Tommy James and the Shondells

I Got You (I Feel Good) by James Brown

Georgia on My Mind by Ray Charles

River Deep Mountain High by Ike and Tina Turner

My Way by Frank Sinatra

For What It’s Worth by Buffalo Springfield

Fire by Arthur Brown

Blackberry Way by the move

The Girl From Ipanema by Stan Getz And Joāo Gilberto

Can't take my eyes off you - Frankie valli

Green onions by Booker T. & The M.G.’s

Stand by Me by Ben E. King

Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows By Lesley Gore

Monster Mash by Bobby Pickett

Wichita Lineman by Glen Campbell

I Say a Little Prayer by Dionne Warwick

Aquarius (Let the Sunshine In) by the 5th Dimension

The Impossible Dream by Jim Nabors

Return to sender by Elvis Presley

It's not Unusual by Tom Jones

[castingspellsanddaisies]

Upcoming readings!!!!

What's the relationship dynamic between alex turner and louise verneuil? Let's find out!

What's Jihyo's type? (from TWICE kpop group) And has she already met a partner she wants to get married with?

His secret admirer wants to know: How's sexy time with Virgil van Dijk like?? AND is he cheating on his wife again?

Jules Kounde (oui oui): his general personality and how he acts in his romantic relationships? (a gentleman on the streets a freak in the sheets? Let's find out)

Lamine Yamal: who's his next girlfriend? Possibly, how they're going to meet? What's his type anyway? (''I know I may be young but I've got feelings too'')

About Jude Bellingham's future spouse: can we see her appearance? How she looks like?

Jobe Bellingham (the other Bellingham): his general personality, how's he emotionally, how's he as a partner and how's intimacy with him? (aka sexy time)

Is Jude Bellingham ''useless'' as his brother said? Why he still doesn't know how to drive? Does he know how to cook anything? Does he make his bed at least? Is he organized and tidy?

Does hongjoong know how to take care of himself? Is he an independant person?

Does bangchan know how to be an independant person? Basic survival skills, anyone? Let's check it out!

About San from Ateez (kpop group): how's his mental health? How does he feels about his life an an Idol? How's he feeling about his group?

Hey Jude: do you sleep with e*corts? Do you pay for it? If yes, with how frequency?

How's sexy time with Trent AA??

Sana from Twice (kpop group): who'll likely be her future spouse? What will likely be his physical traits??

Sana, baby, how's your personality in general? People are curious, and so am I!! (Sana from Twice kpop group) + what physical features Sana likes the most in people??

Who'll most likely be Kylian Mbappe's spouse? (her personality, her job, how they meet, she'll be older or younger than him, where's she from?) And is he romantic in bed?? Mmm

What was the dynamic between Trent AA and iris in their relationship? What's the dynamic between Trent AA and Estelle's relationship? Is Trent dating these women because he loves them and is looking for commitment or not? How Trent acts when he falls in love?

Hey Jude, again: how are you when you fall in love??

Have Trent AA and Jude Bellingham ever truly loved someone they've been with before? Have they ever fallen in love?

About Newjeans (kpop group): do the members of the group regret about everything that has come out? Is there more to come out?

What physical features does Jude likes best in women? lord help me

How does Jungkook feel about Hybe? How does he feel about turning down Superbowl? How's his personality behind the cameras? What does he think about his crazy fans? Has Jungkook find someone he feels like is ''the one'' yet? How is he as a partner? How's he during ''sexy time''? How does Jungkook imagine himself being intimate with ''the love of his life''?

Jude and St*rino the p*mp friendship? wft is that?

Hey Jude: are you into (hold on) giving/receiving pain, biting, slapping, spanking, degradation? (I can't believe I actually wrote this down here. Well, are you then?

The people demand: how's Aurelien Tchouameni during ''sexy time''?

Drew Starkey's personality Part 2 - here we go again

Sir Lewis Hamilton: what's your type? How do you act during ''sexy time'' and how are you as a boyfriend, Sir?

What's Juan Soto's real personality? How's he as a partner, how he acts during ''sexy time''? And how's his dynamic with his family?

Hey Jude: how you used to behave,concerning women, back in your Dortmund time? And around 2022? What was your reputation back then?

Jack Draper: his type in women and how he's in relationships

When could Jude meet his next love interest? (someone said ''could meet someone late autumn early winter and will fall head over hills in love with her. She also said that she sees a sudden marriage with them) - how likely is that to happen? Let's find out!

How Jude Bellingham handles/deals with jealousy and possessiveness in his relationship? (from both sides)

How'd Kylian Mbappé act in a marriage, as a husband? Does he want to be a father? If yes, how would he act?

What's Timothée Chalamet's general personality?

What's FT Island (kpop group)'s future after everything that happened?

Matt Bomer and Jonathan Bailey: what's their bond's future for 2025? They worked together in ''Fellow Travelers'', will they share another on screen partnership again? Matt Bomer is married to Simon Halls, how's their relationship in the present? And future predictions for the couple in 2025?

Do the members of BTS (kpop group) have anything to do with pro*titution, se*ual c*imes? Os something might have had happened in the past? We'll see

How will Matt Bomer and Jonathan Bailey feel when they meet each other again? Will Matt Bomer and Simon Halls get a divorce? How do Matt Bomer and Jonathan Bailey currently feel about each other? Is Matt Bomer ready to follow his heart? What's Matt Bomer decision about his marriage, and about Jonathan Bailey?

What's the general energy among the members of SKZ (kpop group)?

How's sexy time with Jake (Enhypen kpop group)? Is he any different when it's someone he has feelings for and when it's an one-night stand? What about aftercare? We'll see!

What's the current love life state of each member of SKZ (Stray Kids kpop group)? Which one's in love, in a relationship, just hooking up, single-single? We'll see them all!!

Joe Locke's career: What will be his next projects? Will we hear casting news about him soon?

Future predictions for the band SKZ's career!

Vinicius Jr + Eduardo Camavinga: what are their general personality and their type in women? Mmm

How's sexy time with... Jihyo (TWICE kpop group)? How's her with her boyfriend?

How's Lamine Yamal as a boyfriend in a romantic relationship?

How's sexy time with... Jay (ENHYPEN kpop group)?

How's sexy time with... Kylian Mbappé?

What's Jisoo (BLACKPINK kpop group)'s type?? (we're gonna do this in 2 parts: the type of partner that Jisoo wants + the type of partner that would match her perfectly).

Members of SKZ (kpop group): which one of them already fell in love? (you know, at least once?) Which one of them already dated someone? (you know, at least once?) Let's find out for each one of them!

Will Aespa release the second season of SMCU?

Why is Ningning (aespa) being mistreated by SM Entertainment? She doesn't have any solo schedules or even tiktok challenges? What happened?

Is there an idol (female or male) who is in love with Ningning? Is she dating anyone? If anyone finds out, will it become another Karina Jaewook dating scandal?

Will Ningning be forced to interact with male idol until the end of 2024?

How's sexy time with... Sunghoon (ENHYPEN kpop group)? What about his kinks?

Sunghoon from ENHYPEN (two in a row): what's his type and how's he as a boyfriend?

What really happened between Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg? What led to their irreparable broken friendship?

How's sexy time with... Heeseung (ENHYPEN kpop group)?

Sunghoon from ENHYPEN kpop group (I heard he's in high demand lately): what makes him feel attracted towards someone? How to get him hooked? (hehe)

Who's likely to be Charles Leclerc's future spouse? Let's find out

How's sexy time with... Drew Starkey? (here we go again) + How's aftercare with him? And how does he like to get ''in the mood''?

How's Sexy time with... Charles Leclerc?

Let's look into Lewis Hamilton and Juliana Nalú's relationship: Were they serious about each other? How they felt about each other while they were still together? Why did they break up? Was she after the media's attention, wanted to become a ''wag'' or what? (fun fact: originally this reading'd be about their current status, but they were faster than us and broke up first - oh well).

Let's deep dive into Kylian Mbappé and some girls he had been linked with in the past: bertr@m, lexi river@ (he used to like all of her pictures), georgi@ may heath, l@ra lourenco, emm@ smet.

Carlos Sainz and Rebecca Donaldson: will he end his relationship with her or not? What's going on?

Kylian Mbappé, would you drag a woman out for a 7 years relationship with no ring?

How's sexy times with... Nicholas (&TEAM kpop group)? What about aftercare?

What's Timothée Chalamet's type? How's he as a boyfriend? And how's sexy time with him???

The IT COUPLE of the moment Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce: where do their relationship stand at the present moment?

Who will likely be Jung Jaehyun's future spouse?

Lana Del Rey and her crocodile husband on their wedding day: how were they feeling about it?

How's Jude Bellingham's relationship with his mother, his father and his brother? How Jude feels about his friendship with Trent AA? How Judes truly feels about Kylian Mbappé? Do they like each other? Are they truly friends or not?

How's Lee Felix (SKZ kpop group) as a boyfriend?

What are Lee Felix (SKZ kpop group) green flags and red flags?

Could Sir Lewis Hamilton be bisexual?

How does Timothée Chalamet feel about his fan club, ''Club Chalamet'' and the owner of it?

What are Chris and Matt Sturniolos' type?

How's sexy time with... Arthur Fils?

Will Jude Bellingham stay in Real Madrid for a long time still or he may change clubs soon??? What's his future in England's National Team??

This question is for both Jude Bellingham and Kylian Mbappé: will they have many serious relationships before getting married?

How's sexy time with... Jack Draper? Also, what's his personality? Is he a romantic man?

Ben Shelton and Anna Hall's relationship: why did they break up? Do they still talk with each other? Do they still have emotions left and things unsaid for each other? How used to be thei relationships's dynamic? Ben follows a lot of bikini models and stuff on his IG, it’s a running joke that he’s probably a player, is that done out of spite? How does he feel about her current boyfriend? Ben also said in an interview he ghosts and “shoots his shot” a lot, is that actually true to him, or is that a front too? - LET'S FIND OUT!

Who'll likely be Charles Leclerc's future spouse? Who is she? Her character, job, look etc. How they going to meet and their first impressions about each other? What charles' friends (especially close ones) and his family (especially his brothers and mother) will think about her? How they will confess their feelings to each other? What are fans and society going to think about their relationship? Will the relationship be successful?

Neymar Jr: will he return to play in Europe? Is he planning on retiring soon? Will he retire soon? How's his current energy?

What's Lando Norris' general personality?

How's sexy time with... Sion (NCT WISH kpop group)?

How's sexy time with... Minho (STRAY KIDS kpop group)?

How's Aurelien Tchouameni as a partner? Current energy for his career? His current general energy?

Aurelien Tchouameni (hello again): did he cheat on his girlfriend? Will he be sold by Real Madrid to another team?

What's Jannik Sinner general personality? What's his relationship dynamic with girlfriend Anna Kalinskaya? Is she a gold digger?

How's carlos alcaraz as a boyfriend and his ideal partner?

Neymar Jr (here we're again): what's his relationship dynamic with Bruna? How does he feel about his daughter, Helena? Will he cheat on Bruna again? (if he isn't already doing that right now, I mean)

How's sexy time with... Jadon Sancho? What's his type?

How's sexy time with... Momo (TWICE kpop group)?

What's Jamal Musiala's type in girls? Who'll likely be his future spouse? Possibly how will they both meet? Timestamp of the meeting? How'll thei relationship be like?

How's sexy time with... Lee Felix (SKZ kpop group)? What about aftercare?

How's sexy time with... Jungkook? (BTS kpop group)

How's Kenan Yildiz as a boyfriend and what's his type?

How's the friendship among Jude, Camavinga, and Tchouaméni?

Max Verstappen: how's his relationship dynamic with his girlfriend, Kelly Piquet? How do they feel for each other? What's the future for their relationship? Do they want to get married and have kids? Did she cheat on him? + How's his relationship with his family? Does he prefer to spend time with his girlfriend's family? Why? Is his family just ''tolerating'' Kelly Piquet because Max is dating her?

Deep Dive into Kylian Mbappé and Emma Smet's relationship (or whatever it was that theu had): was it PR? How did they truly feel about each other? Did Kylian's mother like her? Why did they break up?

How's sexy time with... Intak (P1HARMONY kpop group)?

How's sexy time with...Sunwoo ( THE BOYZ kpop group)? Any specific kink that he has? What about aftercare?

Bad Bunny and Gabriela Berlingeri's relationship: Was it all PR or they started off genuine and had true feelings for each other? What was their relationship dynamic? How they feel about each other at the present? Will they ever come back together?

Does Jude Bellingham have a Madonna-Whore complex?

Toby Bishay: His friendship dynamic with Jude, is he genuinely friends with Jude Bellingham? Is it true Toby and Jude have threesomes, foursomes together?

Cristiano Ronaldo and Georgina Rodriguez: how do they feel about each other? How does Cristiano feel about Georgina posting videos twerking (to what people complian about it) and about her wearing really revealing clothes?

David and Victoria Beckham: Are they still together because they love and genuinely want to be with each other or for othe reasons? How do they feel about Cruz Beckham's girlfriend?

Jude Bellingham and his future wife: how will be their dating phase? (let's see what I can grasp from it)

SKZ (kpop group members): what's their type?, their general personality? (each one of them)

Chateau de Amerois: are the theories all true? Is this place truly evil? What's behind it?

SKZ (kpop group): what's their opinion on long-distance relationships? Would they do it? Have any on them done that already?

Michael Olise (FC Bayern Munich): his general personality + his energy

How's sexy time with... Son Heung-min? And what's his type?

How's sexy time with... J Cole?

How will Jude Bellingham's career evolve in football? Will he shine more in the future?

How's aftercare with the members of ENHYPEN (kpop group)? If they’re the type to talk and cuddle or bring their partner food and stuff

How's sexy time with... Soobin? (TXT kpop group)?

What's Alejandro balde’s type?

Azra Mian and Jude Bellingham: what happened between them? Why and how it ended?

Let's take a look at Jude Bellingham's future wife but at the present moment: Her current energy, who's she right now? How's she doing in her life? Does she know who ''Jude Bellingham'' is?

Does Jack Draper sleep around? Does he hook up with anyone or is he just super focusing on his career? Did he have something with kt lordahl?

Radu Dragusin: he rejected Bayern hoping to get more playing time at Tottenham, but BARELY getting any, was that his real motives? How's he feeling about that now? will he go on loan to Juventus like the media is saying?

Carlos Alcaraz's general personality + his red flags (does he have any? Let's find out!)

Jamal Musiala: his general personality, how's he as a friend (is his group friend lovely or toxic?), how's his love life at the moment, how's sexy time with him? How's he as a boyfriend? (his oficial biography is coming hahaha)

Jobe Bellingham (I heard people saying he's the best looking sibling, I don't know...): Who'll be his next girlfriend? Who'll be his next wife? Does he want to have kids?

Neymar Jr and Kylian Mbappé (help): Did they use to party hard together in Paris with e*corts and everything? Was Kylian's staff leaking news about Neymar's lifestyle to spare Kylian? Was neymar jealous of Kylian for him becoming ''the golden boy''? (the star of the team and not him). Kylian never unfollows his former team mates, why did he unfollow Neymar then? Why's Neymar constantly liking posts who shade Kylian? Was Kylian responsible for Neymar leaving PSG? Did Kylian want to be ''the owner'' of PSG (as a lot of people claim)? How are they feeling about each other at the present?

Jannik Sinner: What's his general personality and his type?

How's sexy time with... Ja Morant? What's his general personality? How's he as a boyfriend? How does he act with his partner in his relationship? What's his type?

How's Jadon Sancho as a boyfriend?

Austin Butler: his general personality, how's he as a boyfriends and how he acts in his relationships? How's sexy time with him? (hm?)

Son Heung-min: why is he hot and cold in his relationships? Has he has his heart broken and that's why he's more closed-off for relationships? Is he emotionally immature? Why he has this ''I will get married until I retire'' mentality?

Stay tuned, folks!!! And keep these requests coming!!!

Thanks <3

[two-white-butterflies]

post mortem | part one

Description: Six thieves gather hostages and lock themselves in the Royal Mint of Spain - a criminal mastermind by the alias of the Dragon manipulates the police to buy them enough time to print money. (money heist au) Pairing: Daemon Targaryen x Reader, Aegon Targaryen x Reader, and Aemond Targaryen x Reader. Rating: Mature 18+

series masterlist

"These masks are unfashionable," Aegon huffs throwing the mask far away from his glorious face. "What are you talking about? They're fucking rad." Aemond rolls his eyes - holding the pistol near his waist. He couldn't believe that his brother wanted to talk about 'masks' in the middle of a heist.

"Notice how they're rad, and not scary." Aegon scoffs.

"You know what's scary, Mickey Mouse, Scooby Doo and Goofy." you shrug, placing the gun in safety mode. You were still a few miles away from the Royal Mint - and you weren't expecting to fire the gun at any hostages. Unless of course, Daemon had other plans.

"That's what I'm saying!" Aegon agrees, earning another eye-roll from his younger brother. "If some bastard enters the room with a mickey mouse mask while pointing a gun at me - I'd be shitting my pants. Everyone thinks he's psycho because you can't just mix kids and weapons together." you explain even further, agreeing that the masks were a tad 'unfashionable'.

"Then a Jesus mask would be scarier, because he's innocent." Helaena suddenly barges in the conversation - wearing the mask properly, and not leaving any holes for anyone to see her face through. "You know what they say, it's better to have two guns than one crucifix." you nod, and the entire van agrees.

"Like a saint with two guns," Aegon hums.

"- shut the hell up, I refuse to go to hell for your blasphemy." Aemond rolls his good eye, and a scoff exits their uncle's mouth. "Thou shalt not steal. I'm afraid you're going to hell for something else, son." Daemon responds - cocking his gun and pointing it at the floor.

(Santillana del Mar, 7 MONTHS BEFORE D-DAY)

"Hello," your father faintly answered on the other line - there was a bit of static, but it was clear enough for you to hear him. "Hey," you replied with a smile. It's been six-months since you've last spoken to one another. "Where are you?" he interrogated, fear dripping from his every tone. "I'm leaving," you answered, looking around you.

There wasn't much to go around in this country - you were wanted for killing your ex-lover, and the police didn't have enough patience to listen to your side of the story. "I'll find a job in a Chinese boat. I'll work as a cook." you exhale, feeling the tears creeping from your eyelids. "- you always scolded me because I couldn't boil an egg, but now I'll have to learn." you chuckle.

"I don't know if they eat eggs there mi vida, they're Chinese - wouldn't they eat Chinese food?" your father teased, looking for humor in such dark situation. You silently wipe the tears that were falling from your eyes. "I want to see you for the last time," you whisper - contemplating on whether or not it was the right decision.

The telephone beeps - telling you that you had a minute left.

"Meet me in the butcher's shop," you hang up - adjusting your backpack that held your entire life. Will you have to learn Cantonese?

You take a step away from the payphone, lifting your hood - so that no one would recognize you.

You were about to enter a literal and a figurative slaughterhouse, that was until a knight in shining armor saves you.

The chilly winter air began to flood inside your expensive coat - a shiver runs down your spine sensing that someone was following you. You turn your head slightly - attempting to have a clear view of the person chasing after you.

It was a black car that had all the windows rolled down.

A groan escapes your mouth - the driver was probably a cat-caller, and it would be best to ignore him. "Hey!" the man yelled with his passenger door open. You continued walking away - eyes searching the streets for any signs of police.

"I don't think working in a Chinese boat is a good idea," he moved his car slowly, anticipating your reaction.

You turn to look at him - hand pawing at the roof of his car, pointing a rusty pistol in his face. "How do you know that?" you interrogate, thinking that he was a member of the police force. "The police has been placing tabs on you." he explained, raising both of his hands in mock surrender. "Don't worry - I'm not part of the police," he smirks, patting the empty space beside him.

A sigh escapes your mouth - seeing that you had no other choice. He brings out a DLSR 1000D, showing you pictures of your father talking to one of your town's inspectors. "You're pretty," he mumbles to himself - and you cock your gun - pointing it at his...cock.

Completely unaware that this man was about to become your guardian angel. Well, the best part about any relationship - is that you forget the reason you met each other. He clenches his jaw, but remains unmoved. "I shouldn't have said that, I'm sorry." he apologized, slowly moving the gun away from his private part.

"What do you need me for, anyways?" you inquire.

He says your name in an articulated breath - explaining all the shit that you did - and all the shit that you were accused of doing. "2.4 Billion Euros, you can buy yourself a new coat." he pointed at the hole on your side. "A heist - the greatest in all the world." he exaggerated - a small smile paints your face.

If you were going to be wanted for something - wouldn't it be great to be wanted for the greatest crime in Europe?

The drive to his estate was rocky and silent in the first half - but on the second half - that was when things started to get truly rocky. His fingers dipped inside your mound, inserting it back and forth as he drove. "Ahh," you moaned, grip tightening around the seatbelt.

"Do you usually fuck the guys you meet?" he teased - turning to look at your writhing body. "Do you usually fuck the girls you meet?" you moaned - slurring on your sentences.

"I'm not sure - I'll have to see," he replied, taking his fingers off your pussy and licking it clean.

"The names Daemon, by the way." he introduced himself.

next chapter>>

@fan-goddess @marvelescvpe @theshatteredideal @acollectionofcells1 @mxacegrey @bellstwd @nyctophilic0vitnir @icarusgloom @pearlstiare

comment to get tagged

[sullina]

Steven universe future episode 15 "Mr. Universe" starting with Greg and Steven going on a roadtrip to the tune of "dear old dad" and ending with Steven deleting the old yearbook photo off his phone.

I just love this kind of extreme contrast.

the episode starts with Steven genuinely believing that his dad might be able to help him after what undoubtedly feels like an eternity of a confusing and aimless hell for Steven (as having a mental illness tends to be).

Finally, something to help him get better.

Only to realize how terrible he really had it. He says it himself. "I grew up in a van! I've never even been to a doctor until two days ago!" along with how he never went to school on top of that, when Gregs parents, Stevens grandparents, were "right here".

This is the episode that Steven (and also I) realized that while Greg loved him dearly, he was not cut out to be a father. Or at least, he didn't know how to be a father, how to properly care for a child.

Gregs parents were extremely strict, according to Greg himself, and Greg obviously didn't want to be like them, but he overcorrected into the opposite direction: total freedom. But children need boundaries and rules. Not so many as to be suffocating, but at least some structure to learn what was safe to do and what wasn't.

That last part did not exactly apply to Stevens childhood. We never see his early childhood, but from the start of the first show, Steven is exposed to genuinely traumatizing danger over and over and over (as shown in the "Growing pains" episode, where Steven goes to the hospital and recounts all the traumatizing stuff that happened to him to Connies mom, Dr. Maheswaran). Steven knew what was dangerous, but he never seemed to learn what "safe" really was, considering not just Steven himself, but his home and family and friends were often under attack. Not to mention all of the physical injuries he got. Steven never really got away from just about any dangerous situation with "just" a bruise. He could have died, and he knows this. Any danger he's faced has been potentially lethal. This is not healthy, but the consequences only show up later.

But as a child, he either wasn't 100% aware of that fact, or decided to just subconsciously shove it down and not think about it ("not thinking about the bad stuff" is also a confirmed coping mechanism for young steven, as shown in "mindful education", the episode that features the song "here comes a thought"). But young steven only felt bad about the stuff that he couldn't do for others. The bad stuff that happened to himself didn't really seem to register, because there was always something more important going on, and even when there wasn't, no one ever checked in on Steven afterwards. Everyone just assumed he was okay, and that was it. Even Steven himself.

When there wasn't a (usually life-threatening) mission going on, Steven was very often left to his own devices. And that extends beyond just mission stuff. I don't think we've ever seen anyone actually cook for Steven. Whenever he eats, it's either some kind of take-out food, or food he made for himself. And it doesn't seem like a big deal, but it does send the message of "you're responsible for yourself, if you can't take care of yourself on your own, no one will do it for you". Add that and the fact that it was Steven who helped the Gems through their mental stuff (especially Pearl, especially when concerning anything related to Rose), I can't blame Steven for internalizing the message of "you're responsible for yourself and also everyone else (so all you're good for is helping others regardless of your own wellbeing, which is not important)"

And bringing it back around to Greg... Greg never had the courage for any sort of real confrontation. Initially, you can blame his own parents for that, if we assume that any attempt for Greg to properly assert himself was only ever met with more abuse than he was already subjected to by them. However, while the blame is not with Greg himself, as an adult, he is responsible for healing from that. But he didn't, and the consequences of this trauma are still there. Greg lived without any ability for serious confrontation and asserting himself by just... running away. He ran away from his parents with the van. And while he tried to reconnect with them later on with the letters, those letters were never opened. Greg probably never recieved a response from them, and he most likely didn't even visit to check on them, if the letters ever even arrived. Whenever there was gem-stuff involved, he ran away (quite literally), and in Steven Universe Future, when Steven crashed the van? He tells his son that he's proud of him for "telling him off", because he's glad that his own son can tell him anything.

Steven is distressed by this reaction. A lot.

And it's this reaction that tells him that Greg can't help him.

It's just such an odd reaction. You crash your dads van and he tells you he's proud of him? I mean what kind of reaction is that? You'd expect to be reprimanded. Or at least be asked something like "what the hell was that? Why did you do that?" But Greg didn't. He didn't confront his own son after crashing the very van he's built his life with. The only thing Greg did was make sure that Steven was alright physically.

And the next episode? The gems do reprimand Steven, but what for? For endangering his dad, who is a "fragile human". There was little to no concern for Steven himself. No "What was going on" or anything, just a "what were you thinking?" as if Steven crashed the van on purpose, which he didn't.

Steven never recieved any boundaries to keep him safe, and the only other family, the one he was actually living with, the Gems, most often left him completely alone unless there was a mission to complete. Steven mainly cared for his own self in his day to day life. He even seemed to do his own laundry a lot of the time, he was the one making sure he was fed at age 13 and up, likely also the one to make sure he had a personal hygiene routine. While we don't know about that last part, Greg wasn't living with Steven, and while i don't doubt he taught his son about personal hygiene, it was up to Steven himself to enforce it. If 13 year old Steven didn't feel like brushing his teeth some days, would anyone have made sure he did it anyway?

And what about education? We know Steven knows how to read and write and probably the basics of math as well. He knows the basics of what he needs to know, either taught to him by Greg or by Pearl, but anything beyond that? Physics? Chemistry? At least some basic science?

And not just education itself, school is also important to socializing, getting to know people of your own age group. Living at the temple, Steven was pretty much isolated. Sure, he knew people in town, but i don't think we ever see them actually visiting him, or him visiting anyone else just to hang out. And even when we do, it's pretty rare.

The closest thing Steven had to a friend his own age was Onion, and Onion is, well... he's Onion. And shown to commit legit crimes more than once. And Steven is often shown to be kind of scared of Onion, or at least uncomfortable around him. He takes it in stride, but I'm pretty sure if Steven ever thought about it properly, he would probably say that Onion freaked him out. Plus, Onion is much younger than Steven, seeing as Steven should be around the same age as Sour Cream (since they were both babies around the same time, though SC is probably a year or so older than Steven still).

Everyone around Steven was either his caretaker (who weren't very good at their job as proper guardian) or an acquaintance at best and likely unaware of what was going on with Steven at home.

Steven was isolated and neglected in vital parts of his upbringing, the best the gems did was making sure he didn't die, and Greg was no longer reliably around to make sure everything was alright, unless Steven came to him. And Steven was the one to take care of his guardians in their critical moments.

And still, Steven was a "good" child. He took care of his own physical human needs, with no one around to make sure that he did. When something bothered him, he took care of it himself. When others were bothered by something, Steven took care of them, too.

Even in battle, he tried to resolve everything peacefully when he could. When he couldn't, like with the corrupted gems, he fought when needed, to the best of his abilities. The more his powers came in, the more missions he could go on (the more time he could spend with the gems who were his family).

He made himself useful, not unlike a weapon: to be drawn when needed, and put away when not needed.

But he's not a weapon. He's an alive being with needs, emotional and physical. But the gems didn't seem to realize that. Greg wasn't properly caring for him like he should have. In the episode where Lapis steals the ocean, Greg even asks "is this what every mission is like for you, Steven? Because I'm not sure I'm comfortable with you going on these anymore." (i think he was interrupted then, but that's pretty much what he said) Greg doesn't know what happens on these missions, and even when he expresses his dicomfort with his son being put in danger, nothing actually happens to make that stop. Stevens physical needs were taken care of by himself. His emotional needs were often disregarded, not only by the gems, but by himself as well.

He made himself small, bottling up his issues and not bothering anyone with them.

And everyone else just... let him. Just let that happen. Steven was fine, right? If he's not calling for help, then everything must be fine, right?

The gems and Greg only ever started to say something in SU Future, when it was pretty obvious that Steven was no longer alright. When the problems became harder and harder for Steven to hide.

And even when it was obvious that he wasn't alright, Steven himself kept insisting that he was fine, because he couldn't be not fine, he had to be fine, because he couldn't help others if he wasn't, and if he couldn't help others, then what was he good for-

In "Growing pains", when Steven goes to the hospital, Greg is actively forced to confront his son and assure him that he'll help, that he's there for him, and they will figure this out together. And things seem to look up for Steven. Well, until the next episode, when Greg shows him the solution that helped him when he was younger. When that didn't help Steven though, Greg tried to push it on him again. When Steven lashes out at how Greg messed up with caring for him, Greg completely fails to see it and keeps saying how Steven had "actual freedom".

But too much freedom isn't much different from utter neglect.

And even when Steven crashes the van, Greg still fails as a parent. Sure, Steven is alive, but he refuses to confront his emotional wellbeing, the real problem. Greg Universe runs away again. Like he did from any gem-related issue. Like he did from raising Steven as soon as the gems took over. Like he did from his own parents.

And because of this, he would never be able to help his son. He could never teach Steven how to cope, because Gregs only way of coping seemed to be "run away from your problem". But Steven could only run from his problems for so long. He bottled his problems up and internalized them, but that bottle was always gonna burst sooner or later, and then what? Steven couldn't run from himself, because wherever he went, he would always be there.

His own father couldn't help him.

The gems couldn't help him.

Literally the only adult who was able to give him any sort of help was Dr. Maheswaran, and even then, all she could do for him was identify the problem.

Steven was on his own.

But it's not like he was dying or anything, so he was fine, right? As long as he wasn't dead, he was okay, he could take care of himself and everyone else like he's always done.

He always took care of everyone else.

So why were they leaving?

Why were they moving on without him?

Why are they leaving him behind? He's been good, hasn't he?

And even when he messed up, he always fixed things, didn't he? Always!

He fixed things! That's what he does! He's Steven, the one who always helps everyone and never needs help himself, but if they were leaving, was he really a good child? Was he really helpful?

But if he wasn't helpful, then... what has he been doing all this time?

If helpful Steven wasn't helpful, then he could only be a fraud.

No... no, he could always find a problem to fix! And if he couldn't find one, he would just have to create one! As long as he could create problems, he would never run out of problems to fix, right?

As long as he just keeps messing up and creating problems-

Wait...

No...

That's not right...

If he's creating problems, he's not helpful...

He's a monster.

[feralrabidcrow]

How I Think My Ships Spend Time Together

Heavy/Medic: Heavily inspired by "Meet the Medic". I think Medic just really enjoys operating on Heavy. He loves exploring his body, not in the typical sexual connotation, but quite literally cutting him open and just seeing all the things that work together to make his favourite person tick. Watching Heavy's heart beat and his lungs breathe, it's like poetry to Medic. Heavy loves listening to Medic's wacky stories. Things the average person would find disturbing and terrifying, Heavy simply finds hilarious. He could listen to his doktor talk all day.

Sniper/Spy: They don't spend their time together doing a lot of talking, they smoke together, maybe have a drink, sit in each other's quiet company. They go out driving to who knows where in Sniper's van to stargaze. My favourite way to ship Sniper/Spy is Red Sniper/Blu Spy, so Blu Spy likes hanging out in Red Sniper's nest and just watching him work. He can pretend like he finds sniping a cowardly way to fight, but seeing the precision and skill that goes into it up close is mesmerizing. Of course, he always ends up having to stab the Sniper in the back at some point, but that's just part of the job, right?

Engie/Spy: These two share a love for food. Cooking for each other is how they show their love. Spy learned gourmet cooking from the finest chefs in Paris, and loves to show off by making big fancy dinners for date nights with his beloved. Meanwhile, Engie is a rather simple cook, he likes having barbecues and making classic home comfort food. Whenever Spy is in a bad mood, Engie offers to make him some food and it always cheers him right up. Spy may have learned gourmet from the best, but there's no denying that the Engineer can make a damn good omelette.

Medic/Engie: They're always nerding out over their scientific discoveries and teaching each other new things. They love getting together and pushing the limits of science, combining their knowledge for some of the weirdest things you would ever see. Medic has a particular fascination with Engineer's gunslinger arm, an incredible combination of mechanics and biology.

Demo/Soldier: These two together cause absolute chaos. When he's in a more sober state, Demo is the more levelheaded of the two, but getting into trouble with his partner in crime is just irresistible sometimes, who can blame him? Demo is the more affectionate one too, he gets real cuddly when he's drunk and Soldier can't resist holding him close and giving in to his charms. Of course, Soldier's always getting a bit drunk alongside Demo, which can be a recipe for disaster, but hey, they're having fun!

Demo/Medic: They get wasted and talk about their teammates, whether it be gossip, or complaining, or whatever else is on their mind. After a long day of trying to keep everyone from dying horribly, it's nice to unwind with your drinking buddy who became a bit more than a buddy. Demo also loves telling Medic ghost stories. Being a man of science, Medic hardly believes any of them, but he never says anything because he knows how happy it makes Demo.

[yakool-foolio]

Ayyy Maria's here! Oh god, now Gregson's claim of evidence fabrication is in hot water. AYAYAY STRONGHART DON'T PULL THAT SHIT! I BELIEVE KAZUMA IS TRUE TO HIS WORD! Gregson doesn't seem like the type to lie either, even with a sword to his throat, especially if it was to help out Kazuma in chasing down the truth.

Mikotoba coming in clutch! Everyone's working together to solve this case! Klint ate a ring?! Phoenix's role model right there! Wait- retract that, cause this ring might actually be the fabricated evidence we were searching for!

This is the first time Kazuma's ever hearing about Genshin protecting Van Zieks, mere days before his arrest as the supposed Professor. Oh he's not happy in the slightest brace yourselves. He wants Van Zieks to be guilty so bad, he can't even comprehend any other possibility. He believes he's staring Death in the face, unable to fathom that the scythe brought down upon his father did not belong to this caricature of undeserving fate he's crafted in his mind.

A change of heart! But not without Kazuma still bashing Van Zieks. It's a step in the right direction. We'll sentence them to a day stuck together in the 'get along' shirt after this trial's over.

WOAH Sholmes wired the prison?! This man is everywhere all at once! Are there secretly clones of him running around doing errands?

They let Genshin have Karuma in his cell?! He may be bringing a sword to a gun fight, but this is a potential serial killer we're talking about! I guess his true weapon is his word. HEY NOW whaddaya mean Klint wrote the fake will? WAIT this will was not of Genshin's, but of Klint's own final words?! KLINT CHOSE DEATH?! VAN ZIEKS IS NOOOOOOOT OKAY!

UHHHHHHHH CHAT I DUNNO WHAT THE SECRET IS I'M AFRAID I'M VERY AFAID

KLINT WAS THE PROFESSOR?!

Now the suffering that Kazuma bore for all those agonizing years is passed onto Van Zieks in this horrid revelation. Two families drenched in blood.

Baskerville mention after all this time! So it's the maiden name of Klint's wife's family, huh. Not surprising that Sholmes wanted Iris' story naming them to be left unpublished, as they're connected to the Professor case with Klint. Genshin killed Klint to end it all on his own terms, because no one else would listen.

"I did what I had to do" YOU GOT KAZUMA'S DAD KILLED YOU FUCK OHHHHHHH AND YOU USED KAZUMA TO MANIPULATE HIM INTO ACCEPTING THE JAILBREAK PLAN RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE-

AHHHHHHH NOOOOOO AND NOW KAZUMA'S UPSET

Damn Stronghart this horse you refuse to get off of is really tall. He thinks he's such a smartass for confessing to being the Reaper in a closed trial. I'm gonna take so much satisfaction in wiping that smirk off his damn face.

AWW RYUNOSUKE N KAZUMA MIRRORED EACH OTHER! Caiden you better give that message to Kazuma RIGHT NOW! Let him hear his father's last words! 'Twist thy head' ooooo wait has Karuma held a secret this whole time?! IT KEPT KLINT'S WILL THIS WHOLE TIME! YOU CAN'T RUN NOW STRONGHART!

Oh shit Genshin and Klint dueled?! That's one cool way to go out. Yoooooo this art slaps! Stronghart ordered Klint to kill these people, including the former Chief Justice that he then took the title from! Klint's final words were metal af.

By the rash orders of Stronghart, Jigoku shot down his friend... You manipulative son of a bitch! GET HIM KAZUMA, TEAR HIM APART! FINISH WHAT YOUR FATHER STARTED!

OH GOD HE'S BECOMING AN EVEN WORSE GANT AND HE'S STILL NOT QUITING UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHUT UP I BEG YOU NOOOOOOOO WHY IS THE GALLERY ON HIS SIDE

OHHHHHHH SHOOOOOOOOLMES! SHUT THIS FUCKER UP PLEASE! AYYYYY HE'S DANCING! BRO WHAT'RE YOU DOING AT BUCKINGHAM PALACE?! YOU'VE GOT CONNECTIONS TO THE QUEEN DUDE?! This just in: Sholmes invented livestreaming.

TRIAL BY FIRE! LITERALLY! HIS GOOSE IS OFFICIALLY COOKED!

(To Whom It May Concern - @raymondshields)

[jonasgoonface]

Happy anniversary of Willem Van Spronsen's attack on the Tacoma ICE detention center. Here's a thing I drew a while back. Here's a manifesto that he wrote, it's v good. ------

What follows is the written manifesto of Willem Van Spronsen:

there's wrong and there's right. it's time to take action against the forces of evil. evil says one life is worth less than another. evil says the flow of commerce is our purpose here. evil says concentration camps for folks deemed lesser are necessary. the handmaid of evil says the concentration camps should be more humane. beware the centrist.

i have a father's broken heart i have a broken down body and i have an unshakable abhorrence of injustice. that is what brings me here. this is my clear opportunity to try to make a difference, i'd be an ingrate to be waiting for a more obvious invitation.

i follow three teachers: don pritts, my spiritual guide, "love without action is just a word." john brown, my moral guide, "what is needed is action!" emma goldman, my political guide, "if i can't dance, i don't want to be in your revolution."

i'm a head in the clouds dreamer, i believe in love and redemption. i believe we're going to win i'm joyfully revolutionary. (we all should have been reading emma goldman in school instead of the jingo drivel we were fed. but i digress.) (we should all be looking at the photos of the YJP heroes should we falter and think our dreams are impossible, but i double digress. fight me.)

in these days of fascist hooligans preying on vulnerable people on our streets, in the name of the state or supported and defended by the state,

in these days of highly profitable detention/concentration camps and a battle over the semantics, in these days of hopelessness, empty pursuit and endless yearning,

we are living in visible fascism ascendant. (i say visible, because those paying attention watched it survive and thrive under the protection of the state for decades [see howard zinn, "a people's history of the united states.") now it unabashedly follows its agenda with open and full cooperation from the government. from governments around the world.

fascism serves the needs of the state serves the needs of business and at your expense. who benefits? jeff bezos, warren buffet, elon musk, tim cook, bill gates, betsy de vos, george soros, and need i go on? let me say it again: rich guys, (who think you're not really all that good,) really dig government, (every government everywhere, including "communist" governments,) because they make rules that make rich guys richer.

simple. don't overthink it.

(are you patriots in the back paying attention?)

when i was a boy, in post war holland, later france, my head was filled with stories of the rise of fascism in the 30's. i promised myself that i would not be one of those who stands by as neighbors are torn from their homes and imprisoned for somehow being perceived as lesser. you don't have to burn the motherfucker down, but are you just going to stand by?

this is the test of our fundamental belief in real freedom and our responsibility to each other. this is a call to patriots, too, to stand against this travesty against everything that you hold sacred. i know you. i know that in your hearts, you see the dishonor in these camps. it's time for you, too, to stand up to the money pulling the strings of every goddamn puppet pretending to represent us.

i'm a man who loves you all and this spinning ball so much that i'm going to fulfill my childhood promise to myself to be noble.

here it is, in these corporate for profit concentration camps. here it is, in brown and non conforming folks afraid to show their faces for fear of the police/migra/proud boys/the boss/beckies... here it is, a planet almost used up by the market's greed.

i'm a black and white thinker. detention camps are an abomination. i'm not standing by. i really shouldn't have to say any more than this.

i set aside my broken heart and i heal the only way i know how- by being useful. i efficiently compartmentalize my pain... and i joyfully go about this work. (to those burdened with the wreckage from my actions, i hope that you will make the best use of that burden.)

to my comrades:

i regret that i will miss the rest of the revolution. thank you for the honor of having me in your midst.

giving me space to be useful, to feel that i was fulfilling my ideals, has been the spiritual pinnacle of my life.

doing what i can to help defend my precious and wondrous people is an experience too rich to describe.

my trans comrades have transformed me, solidifying my conviction that we will be guided to a dreamed of future by those most marginalized among us today. i have dreamed it so clearly that i have no regret for not seeing how it turns out. thank you for bringing me so far along.

i am antifa, i stand with comrades around the world who act from the love of life in every permutation. comrades who understand that freedom means real freedom for all and a life worth living.

keep the faith! all power to the people! bella ciao

don't let your silly government agencies spend money "investigating" this one. i was radicalized in civics class at 13 when we were taught about the electoral college. it was at that point that i decided that the status quo might be a house of cards. further reading confirmed in the positive. i highly recommend reading! i am not affiliated with any organization, i have disaffiliated from any organizations who disagree with my choice of tactics. the semi automatic weapon i used was a cheap, home built unregistered "ghost" ar15, had six magazines. i strongly encourage comrades and incoming comrades to arm themselves. we are now responsible for defending people from the predatory state. ignore the laws of arming yourself if you have the luxury, i did.

[happysparklingshadows]

𝚅𝚊𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚊 𝙿𝚊𝚕𝚖𝚎𝚛 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜 ('𝟿𝟼)

Warnings: little toxic parts, a little bit of 90s internalized homophobia, talk about religious trauma, talk about abusive households, and abuse of alcohol and drugs.

Notes: This is just something for everyone to snack on while I write the 5th chapter of Certain Hunger. Van is so underrated and is so hot!

General headcanons

♡ Van is a Taurus Sun and a Cancer Rising (just a big old teddy bear)

♡ Her favorite color is burnt orange, like a sunset.

♡  Van is a huge dog person. I can see her having a Doberman Pinscher or Rottweiler and also having a small dog. She has trained the big dog to be gentle with the little one but is still a very protective dog to walk around with. She likes to scare men away from her with her big dog and make sure that she and her girlfriend are well-protected. She seems like someone who loves to come home and see her dogs excited to see her home.

Vanessa's Spirit Animal Is a Fox

♡ Van is an Extrovert with no shame. She can talk to almost anyone, even if she doesn't like them at all. She can go to any party and make friends without trying, and sometimes she hates that about herself. People tend to just come to her with problems or things they can't help her for support, even if they just met.

♡  Van's favorite food is Pizza and Cheese bread. She is relatively easy to cook for because she doesn't fuss over anything after being used to eating her mother's burnt food all her childhood. She loves Italian food in particular, as well as easy takeout pizza and bread.

♡ Her Childhood was very rough. Her mom and Dad had an intensely toxic relationship that was filled with booze and generation trauma, which consisted of 5 children, with Van being the third. Screaming fights and breaking glass were an early childhood regular for her, and her being hit for punishments was to be expected. Van always thought this was normal, not all the drinking but the hitting and the shame was just a part of being in a family, but when she grows up, she realizes how fucked up her childhood was. Van was the forgotten middle child who didn't make a fuss at the house but was a class clown at school. She doesn't have a very close relationship with either of her parents or even her siblings because of the age gaps between them. Van is from an Irish Catholic family, and her family went to every mass like a typical family. She knew she was gay early on, but she didn't realize being gay was such a massive sin until she was a teenager, which made her have a lot of religious conflict within her, but she has come to her own sense of religion with her sexuality and view of the world. She believes God still loves her even though she is gay because he made her that way, and she believes the bible has been edited to benefit the people in power.

♡ Van's best friend is Lottie Matthews, and she is very close to Taissa, Natalie, and Laura Lee. She loves to sneak out of her house to hang out with her friends at the mall with the little money she gets from her part-time job. She spends more time with her friends than her family and is closer to them than her family as well. She will sooner tell Lottie a problem than her own mother.

♡ Van has an extremely high sex drive and is always looking for an out to go sneak away to fuck. She doesn't mind being top or bottom, but she really likes to be on top of you, her hands always sneaking into your pants.

♡ Van's main vice will be alcohol her whole life. She would sneak around small sips of her dad's beer as a child, and when she was a pre-teen, she would steal gulps of vodka hidden in the fridge. She is constantly fighting with herself to not drink crazy like her parents, but she can't help herself from the urges she gets to have when times get tough.

♡ ⚠️Unpopular opinion⚠️ Van does have some toxic masc! Lesbian tendencies. She is the masc, so why does she have to clean? Why does she have to talk so much about her feelings when she can just hold you until the feelings go away? Why does she have to be tender when she can be mean?

♡ ⚠️Unpopular opinion 2⚠️I think young Van is very idealistic in relationships and wants to be with the same person for the rest of her life. She is loyal to the core, especially when it comes to the person to show her tender love for the first time. She will say I love you very quickly, talk about the future without hesitation, and talk about getting married one day. She has the mindset of an average Midwest mascline person about how she wants her life to go. She wants the whole white picket fence with you.

♡ ⚠️Unpopular opinion 3⚠️She has a breeding kink!!

Different AU/Universe

♡ Royalty AU! Spinster Noble is from a very wealthy family who just never got married. She doesn't have any position of power in court, but she has capital power in general. She is the noble who is always with you when you attend court and becomes your mistress.

♡ Delinquent AU! Streetfighter. Van gives me a very aggressive bottled up-angry fighter who picks on people who remind her of her mother or are just dicks. In my mind, she gives off Vi from Arcane season two, a pit fighter who wins every fight they're in. Imagine the cuts and scars on Van's face coming from fighting.

♡ Supernatural AU! Hellhound. I don't know why, but she would be a werewolf. The idea that it's a werewolf on fire is just so Van. Van would be a very cool beast that can set things on fire and claw something in half. She would be a very cool villain on an episode of Supernatural.

♡ Superhero/Marvel AU! Ironman. The snarky, sarcastic humor, the tough guy persona with a soft heart, and the problem with vulnerability. They are the same character. I think Van would 100% use her skills to save herself from a bad situation like Tony Stark did, and I think her being so independent makes her just like Tony.

♡ College AU! Dropped out of college with a business major but returned to college a few years later to wield. She really did try to go to college and apply for the FAFSA and everything, but it just wasn't for her. She went to a few frat parties and applied to too many classes, which made her disillusioned with the whole concept of college. So, she dropped out of school without protest from her family. However, Van reapplied to a community college in her mid-twenties to start a welding program, which she loves very much and thinks she has found her calling.

Pre-crash headcanons

♡ Van was on you since the day she met you. She has known of you for a long time in school but does not know much about you because she was from a different class. She finally met you and got to know you when you both were in detention together, and slowly, you two got into classes together. You became her friend over the years; you became very close in high school. One night, she confesses she has feelings for girls, and you confess you did, too. You both started dating as soon as you said that, and it was sealed with a passionate kiss.

♡  Van fucking loves movie dates and walking around the mall. It's a cheap date when you go to the movies in the early afternoon and then go to the Olive Garden that was in the mall, then she can spend the little money she makes at her fast food job on you. Every week, you watch the movies on Friday after school or work. Van is a huge horror movie fan, but she is a sucker for a good rom-com. You two are fucking killers in a game of Trivia or Charades. The two of you are shameless waters of celebrity drama and talk about it together throughout the week like they were real people in your lives.

♡  Van has her mom's old, beaten-up car, and she uses every excuse to leave the house. She leaves to go to your home all the time, to the point that she is like a roommate. She takes you to State Lines and Makeout Creek. She treats you with princess treatment and Lottie with backseat jester privileges.

♡  Although Van is very clearly out of the closet, she is still hidden in the closet because of the generation she is in. There is too much shame to be out to her family that she isn't even close with, but she talks a lot about having a family with you and getting married even though it's not legal. She says the plan is to graduate and go to college, get an apartment, and become roommates, but in reality, you two will be married. You couldn't be legally married, but you could be married in the eyes of god and your eyes, which really matters.

♡  Van is an Anxious Partner. She isn't worried every time you disagree but has moments of insecurity that you will leave her because of a fight. All she wants is to always be with you, but it becomes a problem at points because she can be smothering or she doesn't get anything done because she thinks about only you when she is away from you.

Wilderness headcanons

♡ Similar to Taissa, over time in the wilderness, Van becomes more open about the fact that you are together. Hers comes somewhat from a place of possessiveness toward you and letting the other know not to mess with you. Van will grow so open to kissing you in public that she doesn't even realize others are around. Van swears to God It that if you two survive, she will tell everyone that you are her wife.

♡ Undoubtedly, there will be a wedding in the woods, with the team members witnessing the union. You would hold wildflowers in both of your hands and wear dresses, as Lottie was the one to officiate the wedding.

♡  Van is fucking you every time you move when you are out in the wilderness. Van's stomach aches from eating nothing but your pussy for months. She often thinks about you two having sex and how she can sneak you away to get her mouth on your mound again. She is obsessed with your musk.

♡  She would imagine having a child with you a lot. Even if she couldn't physically put a child in you, she tried. She knew it was crazy to think about having children at this time, but she couldn't help her human urge to yearn for children in times of fear.

♡  She becomes exceptionally smothering in the woods at times, but it feels protective and safe. You two feel safe as long as you two were in eye shot of each other ever since the near death experiences, as soon as your separated the both of you have panic attacks. You know its toxic when she tells you that you aren't safe without her or that you can't ever leave her side.

[stormoflina]

LOVED the new video omg everyone was so amused with Domi 😭

the fans' faces when they realized who were there with them are priceless. my fav reaction was the last one, cutest family eveeeer.

u are gonna love it!

Omg, anon, I don't know how to tell you this, but this message of yours is so sweet and heartwarming to me!! 💕 And you were so right, I absolutely loved it as well, I was smiling throughout the whole video haha. The last family!! The little girl is so cute and the dad was so real for that reaction. That would have been me lol!

Anyways, here are some thoughts, idk why I stopped doing these.

- These sm marketing teams are getting smarter, because I can't believe I just watched a 7 minute long ad for 3 hotties. I'm no better than a man. :(

- This was such an unexpected, but fun trio! I feel like the three of them are so different? yet their personalities still compliment each other. They kinda remind me of an early 2000s sitcom show, with Ali the responsible oldest child ( I know his not the oldest ok), Virg the chaotic and charismatic middle child with immense main character energy and Domi, the youngest, the mischievous, funny and cute one. Okay, I'm getting sidetracked lol.

- Wait a second, so Domi's switching side thing was a part of a challenge not even a slip of vanity and people were cooking him for that? 😭 Nahh, I was misled, next time I'm doubling down on the Domi love. They don't deserve my gf Domi!!

- Ali is so effortlessly cool. Like it should be annoying, but I can't even do that?? Him just casually playing the guitar so well meanwhile being the best gk in the world? Get out, some people just have everything.

- Virgil has a great singing voice. Again, not fair!! ( But also him saying hangari was very 😭😭)

- " I'm a blue." What happened to shame?

- "I'm Virgil Van Dijk" *mouth drops* Yeah, same. 👍🏼

- I think Virg enjoyed it a bit too much having to touch Domi's hair, but then again, who wouldn't.